July 10, 2002
The media is so predictable. Just as it was twenty-five years ago, from
yesterday morning and all throughout today, virtually every news media outlet on radio and TV (and I also assume in the newspapers,
although I haven't seen any of them yet) have been abuzz wilth stories about my parole hearing.
And it is no surprise, too, that because of either their ignorance to all
the facts, or maybe because of their bias against me, some of the information they presented to the public was incorrect.
All the news I listened to on my radio, and then later on the few TV channels
I saw, said that my "bid" and "attempt" to get parole was denied.
Yes, the board said, "Parole Denied." This was a formality as they had
to by law, make an official decision for the record. However the fact is, I was not trying to get out.
I knew before I went to yesterday's hearing, and so did the parole board,
that I was not seeking release. For as I said in my March 25 letter to Governor Pataki, "For if and when I go to this hearing,
it will only be to show respect to the parole board, to apologize and take responsibility for my criminal actions, and to
basically tell them what I am now telling you--that I do not deserve parole". And this is exactly what I did!
I was saddened to see this "Summer of 77" hysteria back in full force.
It hurt to hear these continuous reports about my "bid for freedom" when I made no such bid. How rediculous. The reports,
in this respect, were completely untrue.
July 12, 2002
I am presently going into a recuperation phase. I need to get refreshed
and re-energized. But I already feel a tremendous weight off me now that the parole hearing is over.
Although I do feel physically and emotionally exhausted from this recent
wave of trials and challenges, my heart remains knit to the Lord's . I belong to Jesus, and He belongs to me.
In my quiet times with the Lord today, the Holy Spirit reminded me that
nothing can separate me from God's love. Because I am in the Lord's hands I have been able to experience a deeper fellowship
with Him. These disappointments and difficulties, hardships and struggles serve to keep me humble. They cause me to cling
more to Christ. And besides, in these situations He faithfully provides His enabling strength that I can endure and not give
Of course Satan seems to try his best to darken my testimony. He works
hard at getting people to only see my past and not what I am today;
This is part of the battle. He doesn't want me to be free of the past.
He wants to keep me a prisoner to it, but I'm not. I am already free!
Still, Satan will use the media to remind me as well as society of my crimes
long ago. He wants to somehow torment me by this.
Yet I know what the word of God says: I am a new creation in Christ. Old
things have passed away, and all things have become new. (2 Corinthians 5:17).
God's Word is stronger than Satan. The Lord's word shall prevail. And for
me, this is what counts!
July 17, 2002
A PRAISE REPORT
Today I want to praise the Lord and thank Him for His goodness, and for
the wonderful things He is doing in my life.
I just received a letter from dear friend informing me that the Brooklyn
Tabernacle Church re-aired the FORGIVEN FOR LIFE video. This is an approximately 25 minute version of my testimony.
On Sunday, July 14th, during the 4 P.M. service, the video was shown at
this large church. People from all walks of life were in attendance. Many remembered me from the time when I roamed the streets
as a possessed madman, full of murderous rage, looking for people to kill for Satan.
Yet this past Sunday, many of these same New York City residents got to
see the miraculous work of salvation and deliverance that Christ has done for me.
I will be forever thankful for God's rescueing my life from its course
of descruction. He is truly a God for whom nothing is to hard!
And here is what a portion of my friend's letter said about the video and
this church service:
"This past Sunday was wonderful as usual. I attended Brooklyn Tabernacle
where your "Forgiven For Life" was shown.
"Pastor Cymbala's presentation was outstanding and this time, after the
video was shown, he gave an invitation for all those who were experiencing impossibiities to come forward. Then there was
a second invitation for salvation.
"The altar was filled to capacity and hundreds of people were standing
at their places in need of prayer also.
"God's marvelous work is truly beyond anything that we could ever think
July 20, 2002
FRIENDS FOR ETERNITY
I wasn't planning on doing anything special today other than washing some
clothes, cleaning my cell, writing some letters and reading God's word. It weas a good day to simply try to rest and recuperate
until tonight's chapel service.
So at approximately 10 o'clock this morning I was surprised when a corrections
officer came to my cell to tell me that I had a visit.
My dear friends, Nick and Ellen, came up from New Jersey. I hadn't seen
them in awhile as Nick has to work six days per week and Ellen has been battling cancer.
Her doctors said she has little hope for long term survival. But I know
the One who is called the "Great Physician". He specializes in treating and curing the most hopeless of cases. His name is
Jesus and He is a Healer.
The three of us had a good time talking, laughing and praying. God has
woven our lives together to encourage each other and keep one another on the path of life.
I've known Nick and Ellen since we first became friends in 1993. They've
been with me through thick and thin and through every trial. I'm blessed to know such loving Christians.
From 10 A.M. until 2 P.M. we stayed in a crowded to near capacity visiting
room sharing our hopes and simply enjoying each other's company. During the last fifteen or so minutes of our visit the three
of us joined hands, bowed our heads and took turns praying. The many chemotherapy treatments have left Ellen weak, exhausted
and bald. But if she could bravely undergo her painful trial with grace and faith, then I can endure my days in prison and
another hardships too.