May 1, 2002
A FAITHFUL GOD
With each passing day I am learning just how faithful God is. He's shown
me that I do not have to be afraid or anxious when He tells me to wait upon Him.
I also trust that He will provide for me the right opportunities at the
right times to glorify His name and to proclaim His goodness.
Now, fortunately, the word is getting out in the media (little by little)
that I am not trying to get out of prison. That I am sorry for the crimes which happened in the past. That I have accepted
my prison sentence.
On April 28th the London Sunday Times, (London, England) published an article
about my feelings concerning parole. The article was decent and fair.
In addition, a scaled down version of this article also appeared in the
New York Post's Sunday edition (4/28). And while I do not care to give media interviews and have, over the years, turned down
literally dozens of interview request, I did feel (after much prayer) that it was time to do an interview with the London
Now my prayers are beginning to get answered. The families of the victims
are beginning to see (I hope) that I am not seeking relase from prison.
I think this may quell some of their anxiety, and that there will be some
level of closure and healing. I pray, too, that they will all have some peace, expecially after the June 4 hearing is finished.
May 2. 2002
Call unto Me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things,
which thou knowest not.
Even while I sit in my prison cell my life is not stagnant. I am full of
life and hope and I have the Holy Spirit dwelling in me giving me daily doses of strength, comfort and peace. And God is doing
many great things.
The story of David Berkowitz from the "Son of Sam" to the "Son of Hope"
is giving encouragement and inspiration to many people, and I'm thankful.
Within the past several days, I was happy to learn that the FORGIVEN FOR
LIFE video was awarded the "Houston International Film Festival Platinum Award in the TV Pilot category". Also that a number
of cable stations in the United States have been showing this including the Trinity Broadcasting Network (TBN).
I've also learned that my testimony has now been translated into Dutch
for Holland. That a ministry called "Prison in Poland" is now going to be using this story of God's grace in Polish prisons.
In addition, the Brooklyn Tabernacle Chiurch (Pastor Jim Cymbala) will
be showing FORGIVEN FOR LIFE as a part of his Sunday evening service on May 5th.
But best of all, today is my father's 92nd birthday. He's a wonderful man
and I thank the Lord for all the years God has granted to him. He has blessed my Dad with health and strength. I am longing
for the day he receives Jesus as his Messianh.
May 3, 2003
I am insignificant and despised, but I don't forget your commandments.
Today the Lord used another Christian to help me get certain things into
better perspective. His words were like a double-edged sword, and they hurt. But the Lord was also quick to give him words
of encouragement that came forth at the right time.
This brother knows how much I despise my criminal past, and how pained
I am every time the "Son of Sam" moniker is mentioned.
So this morning I was a little downcast. I shared how I felt about certain
things concerning those former times of torment.
Then God used this man to remind me that the Lord actually allows these
"old things" to come forth in order to glorify Himself. For it is my past that the "world" is really interested in.
Society considers me insignificant. I am despised. Yet it is the dark and
evil "Son of Sam" which creates a platform for the testimony of what Jesus Christ has since done in my life, to go out.
I was lovingly reminded that, as much as I despise my past, it has become
a tool in the Lord's hands.
For only God can create light out of darkness.. Only He can create order
out of chaos. And it is these very things that God has done in my life which allows others to see His saving and delivering
power clearly manifested.
Thus while I long with all my heart for the past to go away--and one day
it will--for now the Lord is using the former evil for the present good.
May 5, 2002
FORGETTING THE PAST
But this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind...
Satan's plan has been to discredit me and destroy everything that God has
built in my life. He is tirelessly trying to send up smoke screens to obscure the "new man" in Christ, to keep the public
focused on the "old man" and on the past.
One of the main themes of the New Testament is, however, that when a person
repents of his sins and places his faith in Jesus Christ for salvation, this individual becomes a "new creation" in Christ.
A new life begins. While at the same time, the old life of practicing sin and wongdoing begins to die.
Gradually a new life as a Christian begins to replace one's former life
as a sinner. And over time, as one contiues in this Christian walk, he slowly grows into the likeness of Jesus Christ, taking
on Christ's character, being honest, doing good and showing love.
Therefore I refuse to be imprisoned by my past. Today I know that the precious
blood of the Lord Jesus washed away all my sins. God will never hold the past against me.
Plus, Jesus' blood also took away my guilty conscience. Now I can walk
in the "newness of life", knowing I have been completely forgiven and pardoned by a holy God.
It is so wonderful to know these basic Bible truths. And so I must put
into practice the words of the apostle Paul It's time to once and for all forget those terrible things which are behind me,
as I press forward by God's grace to the good things He has for me.
May 7, 2002
During my prayer time this morning the Lord spoke the words "new roads"
into my spirit.
New roads of ministry are stretched out before me. Some have recently opened
while others will open in time. And the Holy Spirit also reminded me that the days of bitter weeping for my past conduct are
Like an always flowing river travelling onward to glory, so will be my
life. And this is what Jesus Christ wants to do for every one of His children. He is no respecter of persons.
Through small beginnings right here in this prison, and through the many
dark paths I once walked upon in my ignorance, my life is now becoming an ever-increasing light.
"Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be
my disciples (John 15:8). May God thus be glorified in my life.